Monday, June 8, 2009

Navigating away from the Diet Mentality: What about My Dieting Friends?

Learning about Intuitive Eating truly was an eye-opening experience for me but it’s not just something that happened, it’s a (probably lifelong) process of healing and learning to trust myself. It’s a strange new world where I’m in the driver’s seat. I’m not 100% sure where I’ll end up, but I’m sure enjoying the ride a whole lot more. Halleluiah, praise the Lord! I can’t wait to share the good news!

That the danger, anyway. I’ve found the answer! Time to let everyone know the truth! But maybe not. I’m just at the very start of beginning to figure this all out. I am definitely sold on the fact that diets don’t work (in any fashion, even those touted as lifestyle changes). Anything that uses an outside mechanism to dictate how I should eat is doomed to fail and keep me on the hamster wheel of yo-yo dieting. I get it. But it’s a lot harder to LIVE it. I’m swimming against a tide of my own habits, friends’ behaviors, and general societal pressure. I may indeed do all this emotional work and wind up, *gasp*, still fat. I’m OK with that. If that’s where my body needs to be for me to be a happy person, I’ll take it. I do trust that by letting go of the obsession to lose weight, I will indeed wind up releasing some of the “extra” padding that makes me feel uncomfortable. But that is secondary to getting my life back from the all-consuming quest of weight loss. I seriously almost don’t know what to do with myself now that I don’t spend so much time worrying about and planning what to eat. It’s a whole new world!

But back to my point. Sure, I’m working through this and I’ve looked to many sources of support – from books, to audio programs, to online forums. I spend some time devoted to thinking about IE and looking for new info about it. But not NEARLY what I had spent previously on the diet quest. And a lot of that time was spent with my wonderful friends at the Weight Watchers board. Over the past few years I’ve gotten to know them not only as online weight loss buddies, but as amazing people.

So what now? Although I don’t think it would be healthy for me to continue hanging out on a weight loss board, that doesn’t mean they aren’t my friends anymore. The good thing about being a rational, thinking adult is that it’s OK to not agree 100% with everything that your friends believe or do. I am fully aware that each person is entitled to find their own path to health and happiness. I think I’ve found a good one for me, who am I to say what would work for someone else? If anyone else finds that the path they’re on no longer works, I’m here to talk about what I have found. I think the best method of spreading the word is to live well and be happy. If that appeals to others, they’ll have no problem coming to me about it.

I particularly like this quote from the Fat Nutritionist:
Your shit is your shit to figure out, and sometimes the only way out is through. In fact, the way I came to the place of relative peace I now inhabit with my body was by experiencing dieting in all its fucked-upness. I am not about to take that learning opportunity away from you, if you feel you need it. And if, in the end, you decide dieting is really not a tool of the devil, and you have no particular problem with it? Then whatever. I still won’t have a particular problem with you, either, unless you make it my problem.

No, I don’t agree with it, but we don’t have to agree. We just have to love each other, and thankfully we really, really do.

I couldn’t say it better myself! (((HUGS)))

1 comment:

Dina said...

You are not alone. I'm hear and very proud of you. Anything, anytime you need, call, email or drive over.